I wanted to find a place to write.. I always say I'll get a diary.. but constantly forget. I'm always on my phone so want to take the chance to write some things down. Esmé is 3.. she is my 2nd child.. 2nd and hardest child. Had a straight forward pregnancy, easy relaxed at home delivery via birthing pool with no intervention via midwives. Her bringing into the world was prefect. She was perfect. She still is truly perfect in so many ways.. but after hitting 2 things changed. We as parents thought we had hit terrible twos.. all children get hit by that right? But things was spiralling. We noticed things was different to her older sister. Yes, you're not really meant to compare.. but the things I was seeing and hearing I couldn't let slide. Her speech wasnt as good as children her own age.. saying a few set words rather than sentanves ect.. people would forever look at me.. and still do now. Whilst whispering "whats she actually saying.?" Been the mum I should know.. but even I didn't know.. I wanted some help. Her behaviour began to change.. A LOT. Her attitude towards touch and food changed. Started off with wet food on her hands she would scream hysterically until it was gone... to now refusing to eat anything what involves using her hands. Messy play is a no go.. playdough isnt even an option now. So so much stuff going on.. I thought was all part of been 2.. but its worsening. Aggression, anger, upset, frustration, sadness, violence, tears, screams, unhappiness. All a few of some of her many daily emotions. I hope I can keep a log for myself..
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